Tonight at Youth Group

We're starting a new series in youth group called Guy Talk: Girl Talk. It's based off of a book and it's broken down into a 10 weeks series delving into gender specific issues. I taught the girls tonight (first high school and then middle school). It was super nerve-wracking, I've never taught anything before!!! I was definitely super nervous in the high school group, but was much more relaxed for the middle school.

I taught on appearance. I first showed this video, and then I asked a lot of questions about where our standards of beauty in America come from. My girls are so smart, they knew it was the media! I just shared with them about the importance of making sure that they are spending a lot of time developing good character because in the long run it's far more important (Proverbs 31:30) than their looks because some day their looks will go away and all that will be left is their heart. It ended up being really good and we had some great small group discussions afterwards. I wouldn't say that any of our girls really struggle with their appearance and letting it consume them, but I just wanted to the encourage them to really take the time to take care of their hearts.

The other day when we were watching Pride and Prejudice it came to this part that I felt fit the topic so well tonight. There is a ball going on and Elizabeth Bennett, her mother and a few other ladies are admiring Mr. Darcy from a distance. One of them says "what a handsome young man!" Another woman says "I hear he has 10,000 a year!". "Yes, quite handsome indeed!!!" Shortly after Mr. Darcy acts totally arrogant and prideful to the ladies and as he's walking away one of the ladies says "I guess he's not so handsome after all!"

I suppose our character does have something to do with how we come across to people!

Gun Safety

I'm all about gun safety for obvious reasons. I don't like the thought of guns falling into the wrong hands. Now, there are new holsters that you can see here that are super safe and have a special locking system to prevent a gun from falling into the wrong hands. I think a lot of police forces are using them now. Check out the website and have a look for yourself!

Crazy Weather

We've had the weirdest end of March weather ever. It's been snowing, hailing and raining off and on for 3 days. It's SO stinkin' cold! The weather teased us by giving us a couple of nice days and then *BAM* back down to 30's/40's and gloomy. That's okay, at least I know it needs to turn sooner or later.

Maggie the Magellan

Meet Maggie.
She's a GPS and the newest member of our family. She talks to us and tells us where to turn to get places. We have been talking about getting one since Christmas and had some leftover Christmas money and were conveniently at Costco last night and they had a nice one on sale.

So, we bought her and we're in love. Maddox loves talking to her, too. It's cute.

Here's a silly video of my 2 favorite boys:

What We've Been Up To This Week

Spring Break to most adults without kids of school age doesn't mean a thing. But, since Kyle is a youth pastor, we get the fun job of entertaining the kids during Spring Break. So, we put them to work. The youth have 3 designated rooms in our church that was just completed about 6 months ago. They were boring, very, very boring. All the walls were this tannish green color. We wrangled up some opinions and got to work designing what we were going to do in the youth worship center (the biggest of the 3 rooms). Since the room is so large, we decided not to paint every wall in there and just add some pizzazz to them instead. Saturday, Kyle and I went to the church with 3 kids and spent 5 hours taping. Yes, it was thrilling.

Here's what it looked liked after we taped: (this is the front wall where the stage will be)


Monday, we spent another 5 hours at the church (this time with 10 kids) and we painted a few of the colors. Here is the end result of Monday: (That's me with the blue shirt on)

This is one of the side walls:


I went over on Monday night while Kyle had Bible study and I pulled the tape. Tuesday night we went back over and retaped for the second phase.

Wednesday morning, we had 6 kids come over and help us finish the painting, we were there for 4 hours. Here's the completed room:


Doesn't it look cool! So we from boring to fun! The stripe runs all the way around the room. So cool! And now, the blue chairs don't stand out like sore thumbs.

Today, my high school girls are coming over to watch 5 hours of Pride and Prejudice. Yes, they're crazy, but hey, isn't that what Spring Break is all about!?!

I'm Drowning...

in laundry!!!Confession: I haven't done laundry in over a week.

Now, I'm drowning in it. That's my goal for today, laundry, laundry, laundry. Doesn't that sound fun? I know you're jealous of me!

I wanna get paid 25 cents a load of laundry!!

Today, I went to Target (my favorite store) and bought Maddox some of these, only in baby size, not men's like in the picture. His little feet haven't grown as fast I expected, so the other two pair of shoes I've bought for him recently (brown sandals and blue plaid slip on shoes) don't fit and he trips over the toes. So, these little clogs will do just the trick for a month or so until he grows into his other shoes.

Images from art.com

Beautiful Weather

It's 61 outside today! Even though 61 doesn't sound warm, it really does feel warm. I wore capris and flip-flops because I went on jean and tennis shoe strike today. I didn't know it was going to be warm outside, I just wanted to feel like it was warm outside. So, God decided to bless me with a warm day to boot.

I'm happy.

And, soon, yes, very soon, I will be in 70 degree weather for a whole week!

Friday Randomness

That was just to get your attention, isn't he cute!?!

I love Fridays. They are the best day of my week. It's our Sabbath. The day where we don't work and don't do anything we don't want to do. Since Kyle is a pastor, he works on Sunday, so it's not really a day of rest for him. Our "weekend" is Friday & Saturday. Frequently, there are youth events on Saturdays, so that day is our "work around the house" day. Any way, I love Fridays because they are very relaxing. 2 Fridays a month I watch Sarah (2 year old) in the afternoon, but that's not really work because she naps for most of it and really does a fabulous job at keeping Maddox entertained.

I went "deal hunting" today, it was fun. We hit Target and Costco. I went in to Costco for 1 thing and I came out for 4 plus a Mocha. Shame on me. It was all in budget, though, so I can't complain. My mom sent Maddox some money for Easter, so I bought him a little 5 miniature book set for an upcoming trip to keep him entertained on the plane. It was so cute, I couldn't resist.

These are my sisters-in-law and me, aren't we cute? Nicole (on the left) is married to my younger brother Tyler (they just got married in December). That's me in the middle. Shelley (on the right) is married to my older brother Kevin (they've been married for almost 6 years). Any way, they're totally rad and you should get to know them.

I've started blogging again at my other site. It's where I post handy tips and such. It keeps this one from hopefully becoming too terrible boring over here. Any way, check it out sometime.

I've Got the Craft Bug...

...and nothing to craft!

I had gotten this ugly '90's ottoman at a garage sale last May for my living room and I had high hopes of doing a cute, creative recover of it. Instead, it sat in our back room for 10 months not being use. So, last night, I did a super quick recover of it using a pretty, red curtain I had bought at a garage sale for $1 and a staple gun. It's not perfect, but it's done and it will do it's job just perfectly (as in something to put our feet on in the living room that Maddox can't hurt himself on).

Here's a picture of it done (I didn't get a "before picture")


Please excuse the ugly rug. I still haven't found one that I like and this one at least prevents some bumped heads around here.

Any way, I really want to create something. Shelley is my inspiration. She's so creative and crafty and well, I'm not. I can follow directions just fine, but aside from that, I have no natural creative juices. I have a baby hat knitting book, but I don't have all the needles that I need and the closest craft store is like 15 miles away and I never make it up that far. Hopefully soon I can start creating cute little hats.

Banana Bread

I made banana yesterday and it turned out FABULOUS! I used the good 'ol fashioned recipe from the red and white checkered Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book with only a few minor substitutions.

Banana Bread
2 loafs (small loaf pans)

2 cups flour (I used 1 c. whole wheat flour and 1 c. white flour with about 1 T. of Wheat Germ)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg (I used fresh nutmeg and used a zester to grind it)
2 beaten eggs
1 1/2 C. mashed bananas - 5 Med. (I used 3 BIG ones and it was plenty)
1 C. sugar
1/2 C. Cooking oil

1. Grease the pans and set aside. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and 1/4 tsp salt. Make a well in center and set aside.

2. In a Med. bowl combine eggs, banans, sugar, and oil. Add egg mixtured all at once to the flour mixture. Stir just until moistened (batter will be lumpy).

3. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 45 minutes (or until inserted toothpick comes out clean).

Mmm..mmm...mmm. It is SO good. Maddox LOVES it, too! So, double score on that one. Now, I'm going to go eat a piece with a cup of Spicy Chocolate Mint tea.

Tuesday Favorites: TV shows

I tried writing this post last week and something happened, and I lost it all. So, I'll try again this week since it's Tuesday again. My Tuesday Favorites list, is inspired by the Unsinkable Kristen, neighbor to my sister Shelley (in that they both live in TX).

Kyle and I love TV and I want to break my favorites up into categories and share them with you.

Drama:

Lost (ABC- Thursday nights)- Who doesn't enjoy a show where plane crash survivors are trapped on an island? I have to admit when I first saw the previews for it, I was like, "that looks so dumb, how cheesy can you get?" But, Kyle and I were encouraged to watch it by some friends and we did and got hooked pretty early on in the series. It's had it's ups and downs, but it overall a great show with lots of drama.

Heroes (NBC - Not currently airing) - This is a GREAT show. Again, I thought it was going to cheese-ball like Fantastic 4 type of thing where they all just do good and defeat the bad guys type of thing. But, this is so much more complex than that. All these people start developing special talents/gifts and they don't know what to do with them. You just fall in love with the characters and can't help but want to watch episode after episode after episode.

Dramedy: (Not laugh your heart out funny, but definitely comical)

Monk (USA - Reruns every day, new episodes coming this summer) - You can't help but love the OCD homicide detective. So many quirks, yet so smart. The chemistry between him and the other detectives and his assistants is just too funny. He's such a sad little man at the same time. I wish I could just give him a great big hug! The only dumb thing is that Jan, from The Office, was cast as his late wife (flash backs), it just doesn't fit.


Psych (USA - Reruns on Friday nights, new episodes coming this summer) - Sean isn't really psychic, he just has a knack for noticing details. But, the only way he can help out the police department solve cases is by his alias that he's psychic. They don't fully believe him, but because he's so good, they hire him to help out. Gus, his best-friend and side-kick, goes along for the ride, and has the driest sense of humor. So funny.

Comedy:

30 Rock (NBC - New episodes April 10th!) - This show is written by Tina Fey (SNL) and has a ton of former and current SNL actors. It's laugh-out-loud non-stop through most of the episodes. I didn't think it would be funny at all, but, yet again, I was proved wrong. It's a type of farce on very stereo-typical New York TV networks.


The Office (NBC - New episodes April 10th!) - Need I say more? A farce on typical office life. Every type of personality imaginable. Michael, the boss, is clueless about anything and everything. In trying to be "politically correct", he offends people left and right.


Reality: (Uh, not my reality, but hey, it's cheap entertainment)

Amazing Race (CBS - not currently airing, usually just one season a year) - The only reality tv show I would ever try out for. It's won like 10 Emmy's for the best reality tv show. Definitely worth a watch. Basically, 10 teams of 2 race around the world. At each "pit stop" the last team to arrive is eliminated. They have to do lots of crazy challenges and puzzles. I can't even imagine how exhausted they must be by the end. Go Amazing Race!!!


Survivor (CBS - Thursday nights) - Classic Reality TV. Stick 18 people on an island watch them die one at a time. No, not really, nobody dies. They just vote each other off each week. I've been hooked on this one for probably 6 years and I haven't missed an episode of a single season. I know, I'm pathetic like that. I never remember from year to year who wins or anything like that, I just enjoy watching.


Beauty and the Geek (CW - Tuesday nights, just started last week) - Social Experiment. They put a group of beauties (former pageant queens, models, etc.) in a house with a group of geeks (oh, man, they're geeky) and they participate in challenges that test their knowledge on certain things (geeks are usually tested on girly things, beauties are tested on geeky/techy things) and the teams that win send people to the elimination room and they have to answer questions. The team that does the worst, goes home. They go in with a lot of pre-conceptions about the others and I think really leave with changed perspectives on people that don't look or act like them. They kind of learn not to "judge a book by it's cover".

Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC - Monday nights) - An everyday family with a set of twins and set of sextuplets. Makes me feel like I shouldn't be so frazzled with just one child. I couldn't imagine having 8, but they definitely run their household like a well-oiled machine. I like that they don't make this family seem perfect, because really, who's perfect?

There you have it! My Tuesday Favorites!

Domesticated

Nicole (my newest sister), made banana bread yesterday and it made me want to make some for Maddox and me (Kyle doesn't like bananas). I have 5 perfectly ripe bananas sitting there, ready to be baked into scrumptious bread. Seriously, I was going to make it today. I just realized I don't own a loaf pan! Who doesn't own a loaf pan, especially someone who has been married for almost 4 years! And, to make things worse, I don't have a car today, so I can't even go buy one!

I guess my domesticatedness will have to wait another day...

Oh, and on a totally cool note, my friend Candice is moving back to my neck of the woods with her family at the end of April! I'm so excited!

This Will Make You Cry...

A dear friend of my dear friend Bethany lost their baby yesterday at 32 weeks. I don't know them, but from what you will read below this young couple has such incredible faith in our dear Father. Their names are Brooke and Nate, please pray for them.

so many places to begin at this end.
i must write while the words are mine.
and i must write.
grief has always flown from my fingers
far better than joy.
giving birth to these words
like all birth
means letting go
of some safety
some control
that was probably never really ours.

he is already in my dreams,
just hours gone
and i see his face in my sleep
and feel his soft skin.

the end of one day saw his birth
the beginning of the next his death
one sweet, precious hour.
one sweet, precious hour.
he tried so hard to breath.
his heart was good and strong.
i could not be more proud of my son
or his mother.
at the end of such a day,
how she looked so beautiful,
how she was so tender and strong,
i may never understand.
miracles surround us here.

i would have torn down mountains for just that hour,
but You gave it, You just gave it,
the most beautiful gift,
the last thing i wanted,
so much i was afraid to ask.
but You knew.
oh my God, You knew!
that fear i had,
prowling about my heart,
terrifying in its strength and closeness;
that beast you slayed for me
when they placed him in my wife's loving arms
to die so near the hearts of us
who loved him most and knew him best,
save only You.

we sang that lullabye...
the terrible beauty of it
so fraught with joy and tears.
it took us both to sing it
louder than the sobs.
neither alone could have sent him off so well.
i didn't know those words could mean so much.
good night, my love.
i have seen the glory of the Lord,
even as we groan inwardly,
wait eagerly,
for the redemption of it all.

in the peace of my son's face,
the warmth of his rosy cheeks
and tender little movements,
so few.
in the love that sobbed
and ripped
and clawed
through our hearts.
yes, grief,
the most awful face of love
in this fatal world,
and still so beautiful.
this is holy ground.
we must leave changed forever.
such a terrible blasphemy
it would be to reject the power here.

it may be some time
before i can sing that lullabye again
without sobbing.
but i will keep singing it.

i thought i would be so angry,
but anger wanted from me
a pride my desparation
could not allow.
will it now?
i don't know.
but i feel no obligation to feel that or not.
only love demands life and voice here.
only love can.
for

"it is love who makes the mortar
and it's love who stacked these stones
and it's love who made the stage here
although it looks like we're alone
in this scene set in shadows
like the night is here to stay
there is evil cast around us
but it's love that wrote the play...
for in this darkness love will show the way"

i don't just believe that.
i don't know how not to believe it.
i never have.

so goodnight was goodbye once more.
i already miss him so
that it is hard to envision life without him.
don't read that wrong.
i mean forgetfulness seems
as impossible as it is undesirable,
which is a lot,
my heart will tell you,
but is not totally so,
my heart knows.

we do not grieve as those who have no hope,
even as we may grieve much more than they.
for our grief is the parting of lover and beloved,
and everyone who loves is born of God
and knows God.
my heart knows.
that, another miracle,
my God your grace is so unfair,
how can i bear the weight of this glory?

grief feels so like fear,
for it asks of me faith
that the end is not the end,
for it's not what He has planned.
goodnight, my love,
we will meet again.

i do not understand the joy in my heart
such a strange bedfellow for this awful ache
for all that is not and will not be.

before he was born,
i knew this as the worst day of my life.
never such pain before, never.
every muscle in my face hurts,
for sobbing is such an effort,
such a hard-won gift,
from the body to the soul.
but then my first son was born.
that was one of my best days.
"i have come that you may have life
and have it to the full"
it was a full day.

the sadness comes in waves.
reality is, as usual, so surreal.
how obvious that this is not our true home.
this is not how it was meant to be.

every person who visits,
every hug and kind word or silence,
these are mirrors to me.
i see our grief in the eyes of those who love us,
and it makes me cry all the more.

and i am still so glad we sang to him
that he died in our arms,
near our hearts and ragged breath,
hearing our voices,
feeling our touch,
not alone, never alone.
and then he slowly grew cold.
my son is gone. my son.
my son, i love you so.
i will trust your heart knows.
for our love comes from God,
who alone could speak and you understand.
what tongues do you hear now as you sleep,
waiting for the revealing of a
new heavens and a new earth.
your new body will have lungs that work well.

palm sunday.
how i long for Christ to come
and gather us beneath his wings.
shelter from this fatal world.
i will greet Him alone as my king.

in a few days, Good Friday,
what it will mean now
that we too have lost a son.
so too our hope is in the resurrection,
and i bitterly long for that day.
when there is no more hope,
no more faith,
only love remains.

come Lord Jesus, come.
and while we ache,
come Spirit,
be our comforter.
with your many hands and feet and tongues, yes,
but most with peace in our hearts.
and we cry.

my son, Phineas Bubna,
was born yesterday, March 15th, 2008.
my son, Phineas Bubna,
died in the arms of his incredible mother
as we sang one sad lullabye,
today, in the early hour of March 16th, 2008.
one sweet, precious hour was all.
one sweet, precious hour.
Lord have mercy on our bleeding hearts.

Phineas, we will miss you,
and we will not forget,
for you are very loved.
thank you for being our son,
and you always will be.

we will keep singing.

Too Much Cuteness Around Here!

Maddox is a full blown walker now and it's just adorable. He just walks all around the house, non stop. It's actually quite nice because it keeps him very well entertained and I can finally get stuff done around here since he's not hanging on me 24/7.

His cute little walk is all all robotic and he usually has something small in each hand that he holds out straight to the side. Must be a balance thing, not sure. But, it's cute.

The weird thing is getting used to him walking up to me! He'll walk around the corner and almost startle me because I'm not used to there being somebody else walking around the house. So funny. I'll post a little video here soon.

Sometimes, if I'm sitting on the floor he'll walk right up to me, just to give me a great big hug. So sweet! I'm telling you! I can't get enough of the cuteness! I don't deserve this!

Oh, and his 13 months tomorrow, didn't he just turn 1?

Pulling Myself Together

My house is wreck.

In fact, my house is a HUGE wreck.

It's really bothering both Kyle and myself and I'm sure in some small way it bothers Maddox, too, when he's tripping over things all over the floor while he's trying out his new mad walking skills.

So, I'm armed and ready. I put together a daily schedule that I'm attempting to closely follow, as well as a chart for the week on what chores need to get done each day.

At 10pm, Kyle and I stop what we're doing and we plan for the next day. Talk about who needs the car (we only have 1 and a scooter), and talk through our days so we're on the same page. Kyle just tells me what his work plans are and I just think through what I'm going to be doing throughout the day. We also pick up all of Maddox's toys and do some general straightening.

Today would have gotten off to great start if I hadn't been losing my mind at 6am this morning thinking my alarm clock was trying to attack me. I accidentally ended up turning it off (I was supposed to be up at 6:30), I don't know what got into me.

So, I woke up 1 1/2 hours behind schedule, but I'm trying my darndest to get back on it. This new schedule is also honing in my computer time. I spend WAY too much time on the computer, so I've blocked myself 2, 1/2 hour sessions to blog, etc.

Any way, here's to an awesome day!

Family Picture With Jesus

It's not every day that you get to take a family picture with Jesus.
Maddox isn't looking at the camera and Kyle is WAY cuter than that in real life and well, I'm not really as spacey as I look in the picture. But, it's with JESUS, so I HAD to post it!

Roseola?

So, the fever went away on Saturday and the the rash started on Sunday and it is still here. Poor guy. My mom took one look at him and said, "he has Roseola!" I did some research and sure enough, the symptoms point exactly to that. It's basically a childhood virus that affects kids 6 months to 3 years and they have a fever for 3-7 days followed by a rash for 3-7 days. He's acting his normal self again, thank goodness, and the rash doesn't seem to bother him. I'm glad I didn't rush him to the Dr. for them to tell me that he had something that they couldn't even do anything about!

Snuggles, Snuggles and More Snuggles

Day 3 of the fever is now winding down.

Yes, it's been 3 days of doing nothing but sitting on the couch watching TV's and movies. Good thing we have a DVR or else I'd be going insane. Also, too bad I watched Pride and Prejudice last week or else that would been a fabulous option. I'm feeling a little bit of cabin fever, but hanging in there. I was so relieved when Kyle came home last night to relieve me because I was feeling overwhelmed by the mess in my house.

I'm not sure what's up with our little hero, but he just has a fever and is extremely laid back. He played for a little while last night and we thought he was on the up and up, but today hasn't been any better than yesterday. But, it's okay, we're hanging in there. I'm bummed, though, because I probably shouldn't take him to church tomorrow and my dear husband is preaching :-( I thought about maybe sneaking into the cry room and just sitting in there with Maddox (nobody uses it because it's not sound proof) while he preached, but we'll have to see how he's doing then.